


I'm Falling In Love, but It's Falling Apart

by narrystymshaw



Category: One Direction (Band), Radio 1 RPF
Genre: M/M, lots and lots of angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-04-14
Updated: 2013-04-23
Packaged: 2017-12-08 12:19:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/761238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/narrystymshaw/pseuds/narrystymshaw
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I haven’t seen in you weeks, and now you are leaving again. I don’t want to get accustomed to you being here when I know you are just going to leave me again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is the result of my Gryles width-drawl ever since the Take Me Home tour started.

March 23rd 2013  
"Hiya babe! Guess what I just spent my entire evening doing?" was the greeting Harry received when he picked up his phone 20 minutes before his concert. 

"Um... Organizing your kitchen?" he replied. 

"Why would I do that when you can do it for me when you finally come home tomorrow," Grimmy teasingly said. 

"Uh, about that... I was thinking of spending my week off with Cal at his house in California." Silence was received on the other end so Harry continued talking, hoping that he would find the right thing to say in order to defend his case. "It's just all the press surrounding us right now yeah? And I know if I spend my week off in London I won't be able to leave your side. The last thing we need right now is more speculation. Babe? Can you please say something, you are starting to scare me.” 

"What do you want me to say?" the anger was evident in Grimmy’s voice as he replied. "Oh yeah sure go ahead, spend the only days you have off halfway across the bloody earth. I’ll just sit around my flat while you ride off into the sunset with the likes of Cal.” 

"Grim it's not like that..." 

"You never let me answer my question Harold,” Nick interrupted. “Do you know what I spent my entire evening doing? I spent it planning on what we were going to do this coming week. Every second was scheduled right down to when we brushed our teeth or went to the loo. “Maybe Grimmy was being a bit dramatic, but he had the right to if his boyfriend was going to drop this big of a bombshell on him. 

"Nick please just listen to me." 

Nick? Harry never called Grimmy by his real name.

"I... Oh God I'm being called onto stage. Can we talk about this when I come home? I'll start driving right after the show," Harry said as he walked towards the stage. 

"What time does your flight leave for California?" 

"I think around noon tomorrow. Please don't be upset with me, I promise everything will work out. I really have to go now, bye." His I love you was cut off with the sound of Nick hanging up on him. 

True to his word, Harry arrived at Nick’s flat a quarter to 3 a.m. He let himself in with the key Grimmy gave him all those months ago, back when everything was okay. Back when Harry didn’t feel like his relationship was hanging on a loose thread. 

Nick was already asleep so Harry tiptoed towards the bed, weary of not waking up the sleeping figure lying in the bed. He pulled a corner of the duvet and crawled in, making a feeble attempt to wrap his arms around his boyfriend. Much to his dismay Grimmy flinched by the slightest touch and squirmed away from Harry’s warmth. So Grimmy was mad at him, good to know. Harry tried not to think about it as he fell into a deep slumber.  
March 24th 2013

The next morning Harry was awoken by the sound of the shower running from the bathroom. He was determined to settle things with Nick so he stripped down and prepared to climb into the shower with him. Who can refuse early morning shower sex? 

Apparently Grimmy could because the second Harry stepped in, Nick stepped out. 

“Come on Nick, don’t be like this,” Harry said as he tried to pull Grimmy back into the shower with him. 

“Excuse me for being upset. Don’t you have to pack or something, your flight leaves in a couple of hours,” Nick said as he successfully retreated out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist. 

“Are we even going to attempt to talk about this?” Harry said following his lover out of the shower. 

“What is there to talk about!?!?!? I haven’t seen in you weeks, and now you are leaving again. I don’t want to get accustomed to you being here when I know you are just going to leave me again,” Nick feebly shouted. 

“Nick I told you it was going to be hard being away from each other while I’m on tour. You said we could work through it! Don’t give up on me,” Harry voice started to rise as well. 

“Stop fucking calling me that! You haven’t called me Nick since the day we met,” his yells now in full force. 

“I’m calling you Nick because It’s like I don’t even know who you are anymore! You are a stranger to me. Why do you have to act like this, I’m doing this for us!” Harry tried to defend. 

“Don’t you dare give me that bullshit. You are doing the same exact thing Louis did to you, running away from our relationship just because the press started to pick up on it. It’s just history repeating itself, but I’m not going to be the one left broken.” 

Harry didn’t know how to respond to that, Grimmy never talked about Harry’s past with Louis. When Harry was going through his breakup with Louis, Nick was always a good distraction; he never forced Harry to talk about Louis. That is why Harry initially liked spending time with him, because while everyone else gave him sad eyes, Nick made him laugh and happy. Eventually those qualities were the ones that made him fall in love again. 

Now he was bringing Louis up, knowing that it would cause something to stir inside Harry. The last thing Nick wanted to do was start a row with Harry seconds before he was jetting off again, but he was sick of being alone. He was sick of seeing Aimee and Ian coo over each other and Henry and Dave talk about their wedding plans. While he was stuck waiting to receive a text back from his boyfriend who was god knows where. 

“That was different Nick, and you know it,” Harry shook his head as he willed his tears to go away. “Just forget it, I don’t even know why I try talking to you. It’s not like anything will get past that thick skull of yours.” Harry quickly grabbed a t-shirt off the floor and got dressed before Nick could see him crying. 

“Tell Cal I said Hi!” Nick sarcastically said trying to hide the tears that were bound to stream down his face as well. 

“Fuck you Nicholas,” were the last words Nick heard as the door slammed in his face.


	2. Chapter 2

I guess you can say Nick and Harry were in a slump. They didn't try to contact each other because they assumed the other was going to call first. They both had there reasons to be mad so they just ended up not talking to each other for a while. 

Nick went out to the country side with Miquta for the weekend while Harry frolicked around the beaches that lined the west coast. 

Every night Harry would sneak a bottle Cal's cheapest wines and drink himself into a stupor. Without the alcohol he would have been up all night thinking about the things he wish he had told Nick, and everything he wish he hadn't said. Of course Cal knew Harry was sneaking wine into his room in the darkest hours of the night, but what was he going to do about it? He let Harry have a week to drink it off and mourn but as soon as they got back to the UK, things were going to change.

Grimmy was back in London doing the exact opposite. He planned on staying in every night and curling up in bed for the rest of the week but Aimee wasn't having any of it. She didn't let him go near a pinch of alcohol and invited friends over every night. He stayed up all night talking to Aimee whenever everyone left. There conversations ranged from where he went wrong with Harry to what shopping center they were planning on going to the next day. The minute Nick started to cry over Harry she would change the topic. Nick didn't give Aimee enough credit for being such a supportive friend.

When Harry came back from his week-long vacation he went straight to his mum’s house up in Cheshire. She always knew exactly what to say to make him feel better, this time wouldn't be different. One Direction had a couple shows up north anyways, so it’s not like he was avoiding Grimmy. Except for the fact that he maybe was.

He dragged Cal along with him to Cheshire because he still needed a friend to prevent a proper breakdown in front of his mum. She had dozens of baked goods piled on top of the kitchen counter waiting for her son's arrival, already aware of the current state he was in.

~

They had a couple shows here and there but One Direction was gearing up for six continuous shows in the O2 arena. In London. Where Nick lived. Meaning Harry couldn’t avoid him any longer. Harry decided to drive to London directly after their last show in Liverpool. He was determined to finally talk to Nick this time. It was late when he arrived so he left his car in Nick’s car park and headed inside. 

Aimee was surprised to answer the door to reveal a tired looking popstar. “Harry! We weren't expecting you tonight. Um… I guess I should grab a couple of more drinks from the cabinet?” the awkward tone evident in her voice as Harry found himself being pulled into the posh British flat and to find most of Nick’s friends scattered around various parts of the house. 

“Who that at the door Aimee… Harry?” Nick stood there dumbfound as he stared at the boy who had been causing him emotional turmoil for the past two weeks. 

“Uh hiya. I didn’t know you would have people over. I guess I’ll just come back some other time,” Harry offered but before he knew it Pixie was handing him a drink and threatening the functions of his left leg if he even attempted to leave.

The night went by completely different from what Harry had planned. He was hoping to have a heartfelt conversation with Nick, and if he was lucky enough it would have ended with make up sex. Instead he found himself sitting on Nick’s white leather couch watching his friends embarrass themselves by singing along to the karaoke track playing in the background. 

Throughout the night he caught Grimmy’s wandering eye staring back at him whenever he caught a glimpse at the man he supposedly loved. They didn't talk, not even short small talk or a goodbye. Before he knew it, Grimmy was kicking everyone out of his flat and calling it an early night. 

~

With concerts every hour of the day, filming the 3D movie, backstage interviews, and fan meetings, Harry didn’t have time to see Nick until two days after his last failed attempt. Around evening time he went to see if Nick was up for going to the opening of the new art gallery since they both had some time off. 

Of course Nick was busy; he had to film an episode of Celebrity Juice. Nick’s new show was about to air soon, so he was wearier of the press and tabloids that surrounded him. Unwillingly, Harry decided that he would go out but made Nick promise that they were going to talk when they both came home. 

~

Harry had a wonderful night, he was buzzing and couldn’t wait to make things right with Nick. He excitedly walked into Nick’s flat but all of the air escaped his lungs when he found a crying figure lying in bed curled up underneath the duvet. 

“Ni..Nick. Babe? What happened?” Harry said as he rushed to Nick’s side. 

“I… can’t. We can’t. This isn’t going to work out Harry,” Nick cried as tears ran across his cheeks. “I didn’t know it was this bad Harry. I sat through an hour of torment about our relationship. Keith was relentless on the show today. I thought the press was bad, but not.. not this bad,” Nick tried to explain what happened at the filming of Celebrity Juice but couldn’t form proper sentences. 

“It couldn’t have been that bad could it? Nothing we haven’t heard before?” Harry tried to cuddle Nick while soothing away all of his worries. 

Nick stared Harry dead in the eye and said, “They asked me if I had seen your fucking knob before.”

“Oh,” was the only reply Harry had. 

Nick went to the bathroom to wash his face and clear his mind. All he could think about was the pain and hardships Harry would have to go through if they ever did come out. The bad outweighed the good, and he loved Harry enough to know that it was right thing to do and let him go.

When he came out of the bathroom he found Harry making tea in the kitchen. Nick was planning on letting him down gently, he was going to sit him down and list all of the reasons why they could never work out in the end. Harry had other plans because the second he caught on to the fact that Nick was breaking up with him he started yelling and crying. 

Thirty minutes later, after hurtful words were tossed at each other and dozens of tears were shed, the two lovers sat on opposite ends of the room panting and willing the pain to go away. 

“Don’t do this to me Nick. We can work through this I know we can,” Harry spoke up after a long moment of silence. 

“It’s getting late Harry. I don’t want us to end things on bad terms. I’m sure you will find plenty of people who are willing to date you, and I’ll try muster up the courage to find someone myself. We can still be friends, please can we stay friends? I don’t even want to think about losing you in more ways than one,” Nick contemplated with Harry. 

Harry didn’t reply, he silently put on his shoes and coat, leaving without a word. 

"So I guess that was goodbye," Nick whispered to himself as new tears started to form. 

~

Nick ended up flying 10,000 miles away from Harry on his week off. If Harry could go to L.A. why couldn’t he? Plus all of his friends were going to be in California for Coachella anyways so it was a perfect distraction. He spent the days drinking and dancing along to obscure hipster bands, and at night partying till he forgot where he was. He also met up with all of his old friends that he hadn’t seen in a while, including model extraordinaire, RJ King. 

They were currently at a pool party with peopling ranging to A-listers like Katy Perry all the way to nobody washed up DJ’s like Nick considered himself to be. 

"Have you ever jumped into a pool fully clothed Grimshaw?" RJ King asked with a mischievous glint in his eye. 

"I can't say I have," Grimmy wearily replied. 

"Well…" Grimmy never heard the rest of that sentence because before he knew it RJ grabbed his hand and pulled him into the pool. 

"You little bastard! You will pay for that," Nick said with little animosity towards his threat. Truth is, he was having the time of his life, and it was all thanks to RJ. 

"Hmmm I can't wait," RJ replied as he climbed out of the pool and grabbed a towel to wrap around his now soaked body. "Come on Grimshaw, I think it’s time to go back to the hotel so we can properly dry off." 

And if that wasn't an invitation Grimmy didn't know what was. He followed RJ's lead and grabbed his helping hand in order to get out of the pool. They walked back to Nick's hotel discreetly standing as close as possible on the wide sidewalk. 

They made small talk along the way, "So you are telling me that Harry broke up with you and this trip to Coachella is your friends' way of helping you move on?" RJ asked as they passed by dozens of palm trees. 

"I would say it was more of a mutual break up. Apparently their idea of moving on is flying me halfway across the world to attend a hipster music festival and hook up with dozens of young models in attempt to get over him," Grimmy replied as he nervously fixed his quiff. 

"How is that hooking up with models part going for you?" Rj curiously asked.

"Hasn't happened yet, but I'll let you know when it does." 

Without a warning RJ jumped on to Nick's back while shouting "Piggy back ride!" In order to break the sexual tension that was floating in the air. Nick was going to retort with an insult along the lines of 'what are you twleve?' But as soon as he felt the line of RJ's cock press up against his back all sense of coherency was gone. 

He carried him the rest of the way and after what seemed like forever they finally reached the hotel door. He went to fetch his keys from his back pocket but RJ was already one step ahead of him. He squeezed Grimmy’s left arse cheek as he pulled out the key from his pocket and opened the door for them. 

“Wow I didn’t know models these days were so helpful,” Grimmy said to break the tension after RJ’s grope in the hallway. RJ finally jumped off his back and made a beeline towards the towels in the bathroom. 

“We all have our moments, I’m not just a pretty face you know," RJ said as he came back drying his hair out with a fluffy white towel. 

“Well then what are you doing back at my hotel?” Nick said as he caught the towel that was thrown his way. 

“Haha very funny, do you have any drinks?” RJ always one to be easily distracted. 

“Was that your plan? Get me back to my hotel room and fill me up with alcohol so you can have your wicked way with me? I think you are forgetting the fact that I…” 

“You talk way to much Grimshaw,” RJ interrupted. “This is just me being a ‘Lad’ as you brits say,” and with that RJ went to the mini frigde in the corner and pulled out two bottles of beer while Nick got comfy on the bed. “I’m not much of a beer man but I guess this will do,” RJ said as he tossed one of bottles to Grimmy and settled into the bed as well. “Now Grimshaw it seems to me that you are in a bit of a pickle.”

“A pickle? Boy do you Americans have some interesting lingo.”

“Just play along with me alright. So you just broke up with an incredibly hot international popstar. Who is currently getting cozy with another up and coming popstar right now as we speak.” 

“Yes I am aware of my situation, your point is?”

“My point it is, I say you get back at him. As in get revenge. You know, make him jealous. And what better way to do that then to hook up with the hottest young model at the moment?” 

“Are you propositioning me King?”

“Well, I am always up for a good ‘shag.’ But first we must make this public, I say you post a photo of us on instagram.” 

“Wasn’t the picture I posted of you this morning enough? And what about the one you posted yesterday? We don’t want to crush Harry’s heart, just make him a bit jealous.”

“You worry too much Grimshaw. Haven’t you seen the pictures of him and that Micheal guy? He is playing dirty and it is your turn to call the shots. Here, just hand me your phone.” That is how Nick ended up posting a picture on instagram with the caption ‘idiots in the pool.’ 

“There we go, that will show him,” RJ said as he tossed the phone to the side and aimed the best bedroom eyes towards Grimmy’s direction. “Now how about we get out of these wet clothes.” Within a matter of minutes the soaking clothes were lying somewhere on the ground as RJ pinned Nick’s arms to the bed and leaned down to kiss him. 

They duo have obviously hooked up in the past. Just the other night Aimee threatened to throw her shoe at them if they didn’t stop making out in the front lawn of the party they were at. Yet somehow this kiss was different. Usually RJ was in it with a purpose, all tongue and determination. This time it was soft and tender, almost as if RJ was afraid Grimmy was going to break any second. He took his sweet time easing his tongue into Nick’s mouth and swallowing every moan that escaped. 

“R…RJ what..” 

“Shhh Nick, tonight just forget about everything alright. I can see through your façade. I know it's killing you inside to be away from Harry. I saw you constantly checking your phone back at the pool to see if he texted you. I hate seeing you upset and I want to take care of you yeah? So let me take care of you.” 

And that was the last thing that either of them said and the only other thing heard between the both of them was the keen noises made when they reached their climax and the short breaths that followed afterwards as they fell asleep wrapped around each other.

~

The next morning Grimmy woke up to a super-hot young model blowing him underneath the sheets. “I must have done something really good in my previous life in order to deserve this kind of wake up call,” Nick said and he thread his fingers into RJ’s hair, encouraging him to continue. RJ looked up at Grimmy through long eyelashes as he finished him off. Nick returned the favor later on in the shower, slowing fucking him into the wall after they washed out the soap in their hair.

Nick’s fun was soon cut short as he stepped out of the shower and received a text from Louis that said “is this what you wanted Nicholas? To have him on the brink of an emotional meltdown seconds before showtime? Congrats dickhead, I hope you are proud of yourself.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By popular demand I wrote a second part, I hope you guys like it!


End file.
